Good Questions

“Good Questions”
Lent 2009 – Day 29 (Mar 30)

By Deshi Ramadhani, SJ

I was a young priest and student in Rome. After some struggles I finally picked the topic I wanted to work on for my Licentiate thesis. So I courageously approached one professor. Yes, it took courage to talk to that so-called “cold-blooded” professor! With his mysterious smile he said: “Make a good question!” That was it. Weeks passed and I found it so difficult to make a good question. I struggled a lot to get my thesis done in time. Some years later, when I began to engage myself in writing, teaching, and directing my students’ theses, the wisdom of my professor became clear. Yes, a good question is necessary to help us have a clear mind. My students know it well and I can tell that a good paper is always based on a good question. If we can make a good question, it means that actually we already know half of the answer.

Good communication is often times based on the ability to make a good question. Daniel knew this, and his question was simple and sharp, “Under what tree were Susanna and her presumed secret boyfriend found?” A question like this saved Susanna’s life. Good question can be life-sustaining and life-giving! The woman who had been caught in adultery was left alone with Jesus. As if to go deeper to the woman’s heart, Jesus simply asked, “Where are they? Has no one condemned you?” Of course Jesus already knew the answer. Yet it was a lot more than a simple rhetoric. Good question is life-giving.

A mother was furious after she had found some drugs in her teen daughter’s closet. She began to bombard her daughter with stupid questions, “Who gave you this? Why did you lie to me? How long have you been taking drugs? Have you wasted my money? Are you so stupid?” And on and on and on…! Communication went bad! Following an advice from her spiritual director, she learned to make better questions. She tried to start with a question of love with a gentle voice, “Do you really feel that I love you so much?” With this, the whole climate is changed, trust is developed, and openness is easy. Yes, good questions are indeed life-giving.