"It's Their Faults"
By Deshi Ramadhani, SJ
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Feast of St. Thomas Aquinas
I had to say Mass at a nuns' convent nearby. So I had to get up early, after only less than four hours of sleep. Last night other cars in our garage had been parked in such a way that it gave me a hard time to get into my parking space. So after Mass this morning, I had to do some tricky manoeuvres again. I was quite confident when I heard a bump noise. Ooops, my car just scratched our garage wall. You can imagine how mad I was. And guess what, I began to blame those other cars parked around mine.
As a matter of fact, those cars did have their share in the problem. But, I realized that it was hard to accept that I was the one who had made the final mistake. I should have been more careful, and more patient, so that I should have made more manoeuvres. Yes, I didn't want to admit that I made that silly mistake. So I asked our driver to polish my car, and voila, the signs of my fault was gone. It looks shiny as before, spotless, and I was relieved, and got my pride back.
Oh well, it's just a car, and it's just a normal possibility of daily life. Yet, it did not end there. If this is how I react, isn't it also true in my spiritual journey? Yes, it's easy, and sometimes even falsely comforting to tell myself that it's not completely my fault; it's theirs. The lesson from my car is this: "Learn to admit graciously: 'Yes, it's my fault. Period!'"
Showing posts with label fault. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fault. Show all posts
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Misplaced Wallet
“Misplaced Wallet”
Lent 2010 – Day 22b; Sunday, March 14.
Deshi Ramadhani, SJ
I just returned from leading an over-night recollection for a group of laypeople. I quickly packed my things, since I didn’t want to be caught in traffic. Once everything was done, I realized that I couldn’t find my wallet. I searched inside my bags, even under the bed and pillows, and under my car seat. Then a horrible thought: “Has it been stolen?” I decided to take all my clothes out of my backpack, and voila!
What a relief! It was my fault. Yet my first reaction was to put the blame on someone else. I knew there was a deep anger. This sounds so familiar. It became clear to me, that I don’t always want to claim full responsibility for the pain of sin. While I can admit that I have made mistakes, there have been times when I tried to justify a bit by saying that I was just a victim, or that it just happened in a finger snap!
It’s a real challenge to move from saying “I have been led astray by others” to “I have made a wrong choice.” The pain in making this move is truly liberating.
Lent 2010 – Day 22b; Sunday, March 14.
Deshi Ramadhani, SJ
I just returned from leading an over-night recollection for a group of laypeople. I quickly packed my things, since I didn’t want to be caught in traffic. Once everything was done, I realized that I couldn’t find my wallet. I searched inside my bags, even under the bed and pillows, and under my car seat. Then a horrible thought: “Has it been stolen?” I decided to take all my clothes out of my backpack, and voila!
What a relief! It was my fault. Yet my first reaction was to put the blame on someone else. I knew there was a deep anger. This sounds so familiar. It became clear to me, that I don’t always want to claim full responsibility for the pain of sin. While I can admit that I have made mistakes, there have been times when I tried to justify a bit by saying that I was just a victim, or that it just happened in a finger snap!
It’s a real challenge to move from saying “I have been led astray by others” to “I have made a wrong choice.” The pain in making this move is truly liberating.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)