“Fifty Thousand Bill”
Lent 2010 – Day 16b; Sunday, March 7.
Deshi Ramadhani, SJ
I was approaching the toll gate to the highway this afternoon. The toll was nine thousand, and I had a fifty thousand bill ready. I opened my window, not knowing that there was a strong wind. My fifty thousand bill was blown away from my hand. I panicked, stopped my car, and got off. Thank God, the money lied still just there, close to the tire.
Had it been blown far away, I would certainly have felt a big loss. Fifty thousand bill plus nine thousand in total! It was not so much about the value itself, but it was about my dignity. How could I be so stupid? That sounds so much like sin. When I sin, I pay too much for something that is actually so cheap. Sadly, I don’t think about my dignity.
Conversion is not so much about saying no to sin, as saying yes to the true me. If I can get for free a first-class stuff, why do I still spend so much for rubbish?
Showing posts with label sin. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sin. Show all posts
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Desirable Sickness
“Desirable Sickness”
Lent 2010 – Day 4; Saturday, February 20.
Deshi Ramadhani, SJ
When I was a young teenager I once got very sick. I was literally confined to bed for a whole month. Along the way I learned how to let others help me. I even began to enjoy being sick, since everybody paid attention to me. It was suddenly over when the doctor allowed me to get up and walk. I was healed, and I lost all the special treatments.
Being sick can be so desirable, especially when it is the best way to get attentions. I wonder if the same thing applies to sin. I know I have to get rid of certain repeated sins, yet I also know that staying with this sin will attract God’s attention to me. And that certainly feels good. I’m addicted to the notion of fighting against sin with God.
God wants to heal me, to change my life. Yet I’m afraid to let God do it, since I’m afraid that if I become a better person, I will lose God’s special attention to me.
Lent 2010 – Day 4; Saturday, February 20.
Deshi Ramadhani, SJ
When I was a young teenager I once got very sick. I was literally confined to bed for a whole month. Along the way I learned how to let others help me. I even began to enjoy being sick, since everybody paid attention to me. It was suddenly over when the doctor allowed me to get up and walk. I was healed, and I lost all the special treatments.
Being sick can be so desirable, especially when it is the best way to get attentions. I wonder if the same thing applies to sin. I know I have to get rid of certain repeated sins, yet I also know that staying with this sin will attract God’s attention to me. And that certainly feels good. I’m addicted to the notion of fighting against sin with God.
God wants to heal me, to change my life. Yet I’m afraid to let God do it, since I’m afraid that if I become a better person, I will lose God’s special attention to me.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Deadly Diet
“Deadly Diet”
Lent 2010 – Day 2; Thursday, February 18.
Deshi Ramadhani, SJ
Just look around. You will see some who are struggling with high cholesterol level. Look how they eat. Are your shocked? Listen to what they say: “It’s OK. Just a little bite… and if things get worse, I’ve got my pills.” Don’t forget to notice the victorious smile on their faces. And guess what? The next morning you will hear them complain: “I’ve a terrible headache.” Duh…?
Choosing is part of life. Yet, making the right choice is not always in the picture. Sometimes we even play with life or death choice. If this is what happens with choosing between holiness and sinfulness, I feel so embarrassed. When I choose sin, I choose death. The more I respect my life, the more I want to choose holiness. My repeated fallings and negligence may simply be signs of my lack of respect toward life.
Want to know the worst part of the story? It’s when you say a split second before committing a sin: “It’s OK. Just a little bite…”
Lent 2010 – Day 2; Thursday, February 18.
Deshi Ramadhani, SJ
Just look around. You will see some who are struggling with high cholesterol level. Look how they eat. Are your shocked? Listen to what they say: “It’s OK. Just a little bite… and if things get worse, I’ve got my pills.” Don’t forget to notice the victorious smile on their faces. And guess what? The next morning you will hear them complain: “I’ve a terrible headache.” Duh…?
Choosing is part of life. Yet, making the right choice is not always in the picture. Sometimes we even play with life or death choice. If this is what happens with choosing between holiness and sinfulness, I feel so embarrassed. When I choose sin, I choose death. The more I respect my life, the more I want to choose holiness. My repeated fallings and negligence may simply be signs of my lack of respect toward life.
Want to know the worst part of the story? It’s when you say a split second before committing a sin: “It’s OK. Just a little bite…”
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