Remain in Waiting

“Remain in Waiting”
Lent 2009 – First Sunday Year B (Mar 1)

By Deshi Ramadhani, SJ

Years ago, when I was seventeen, I had to undergo a surgery for my sinusitis problem. The nurse came early that morning to my room in the hospital, and pushed my bed to the operation room. Well, not really. I was pushed into the “waiting room” which for me was so bone-chilling. I was lying on my bed, and another patient was there beside me, waiting for his turn. I waited, and waited, and waited. It felt like ages, and I became so scared of the surgery. I was already working out on a plan to safely sneak out when the nurse came and pushed my bed to the execution room.

Many years later, December 1996, I went to a small parish just on the skirts of Naples, Italy. Yes, it was my first Christmas ministry as priest. Even in Naples, for my tropical skin, it was freezing. My room was spacious, but with no heater! I sat on my bed, thinking seriously, and wondering about my decision. I was already planning on how to go back to Rome and forget everything about Christmas ministry, when there was a knock on my door. It was time for work. That Christmas vigil I spent hours cramped in the tiny confessional booth, and went back to my room, trying the best I could to make me warm, and fell asleep in despair.

Bone-chilling room, time of waiting, possibility of plan changes, these are the three elements in both incidents. In either case, I was tempted to run away from where I was. Yes, in waiting, I was tempted to run away to a safer place. Waiting in a bone-chilling temperature made me think of returning to my comfort zone. In a sense, for Jesus, those forty days in the desert were a period of waiting. As he was waiting for his public ministry, he was tempted. The Gospel of Mark does not recount the nature of the temptation that Jesus had. We only know that Jesus “remained in the desert for forty days, tempted by Satan.” This allows us to think that the temptation was simply “to cut it short.” The temptation might have come to Jesus’ mind in the form of question: “Should I wait longer?”

Looking at various moments in my life, I can see that this is one of the most brilliant strategies that Satan uses to make me fall. Satan always wants me to cut it short. Time for waiting can be a time for Satan to seduce us. Are you waiting for God’s answer to your prayer? Be very aware, as you wait, you may be seduced to cut it short, to no longer wait, to start executing your plan your own way. This is precisely what Satan wants us to do. Jesus knows this, and so He remained in the desert at all cost. The good news is: waiting in the desert always means to be among wild beasts, and yet always in the good company of the angels. When you are tempted to cut your waiting short, just look around, and you will see angels around you. Remain in waiting. This is what God has been doing. Since the flood in the time of Noah, God has decided to wait. Had God cut it short, you and I would not have lived now. We have to remain in waiting, because it is what God has been doing all this time for us. Time of waiting is time for God to prepare us for something big.