“So Disappointing”
Lent 2010 – Day 30; Tuesday, March 23.
Deshi Ramadhani, SJ
God knows how much I have been so disappointing to those I love. I admit that I have made many promises, but I have broken even more. Along the way, I know so much pain and hurt I have inflicted upon others. To be honest, I should have lost all chances of having friends any more, even of being loved by any one.
I have been so disappointing to God too. Want to know what is worse? I don’t easily admit that I’m just that bad. Instead, many times I put the blame on God. When I hurt after I fall, I blame God for not doing His job to protect me. I even wonder if sometimes God completely forgets how to be a real God.
Truth is, I haven’t always been ready for new challenges. I run to others, begging for my healing, while I don’t really admit that I’m sick.
Showing posts with label challenge. Show all posts
Showing posts with label challenge. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Where Is My Car?
“Where Is My Car?”
Lent 2010 – Day 28b; Sunday, March 21.
Deshi Ramadhani, SJ
I went to a mall this afternoon. The first challenge was to find the parking spot. I was not familiar with the parking setting. Finding one free spot was a real challenge. The parking guys were so nice. I mean, they just put a smile, but not helpful at all. Then I found it. I noted the section: P5 22. OK, that’s easy.
When I was done, I walked calmly to P5 22, but my car was not there. Then I realized, that in addition to letters and numbers, there was also color-code. I got to P5 22 Red! Thank God, I could see that the next section was Blue. After some sweats and heart racing, there it was: P5 22 Blue! Stupid? Yes!
Tuning in God’s will is like that: simple and tricky. God is so good with challenges that force me to notice carefully. I’m glad that God keeps challenging me.
Lent 2010 – Day 28b; Sunday, March 21.
Deshi Ramadhani, SJ
I went to a mall this afternoon. The first challenge was to find the parking spot. I was not familiar with the parking setting. Finding one free spot was a real challenge. The parking guys were so nice. I mean, they just put a smile, but not helpful at all. Then I found it. I noted the section: P5 22. OK, that’s easy.
When I was done, I walked calmly to P5 22, but my car was not there. Then I realized, that in addition to letters and numbers, there was also color-code. I got to P5 22 Red! Thank God, I could see that the next section was Blue. After some sweats and heart racing, there it was: P5 22 Blue! Stupid? Yes!
Tuning in God’s will is like that: simple and tricky. God is so good with challenges that force me to notice carefully. I’m glad that God keeps challenging me.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Looking for Direction
“Looking for Direction”
Lent 2010 – Day 22a; Saturday, March 13.
Deshi Ramadhani, SJ
I went to pay respect to my Franciscan friend who passed away. The parish church is located in Depok, now a suburb of Jakarta, quite a distance from where I stay. I got e-mails and text messages about the direction. I also made phone calls to make sure that I got it right. I even asked a Jesuit brother to drive for me, while I made sure that we were on the right track. Having someone with me made the journey feel safer.
There were several spots where the road trickily splits into several directions. We had clear information, but we still had to decide which one to take. It reminds me of my journey of conversion. Because God trusts me, God leaves to me the decision on what direction to take. The possibility of making a wrong turn is still there. But we simply couldn’t think too long. The cars behind would honk angrily!
Conversion is a challenge. It’s a long drive to the unknown places. It requires true masculine spirit. So I wonder, why there are not so many men attracted to this challenge.
Lent 2010 – Day 22a; Saturday, March 13.
Deshi Ramadhani, SJ
I went to pay respect to my Franciscan friend who passed away. The parish church is located in Depok, now a suburb of Jakarta, quite a distance from where I stay. I got e-mails and text messages about the direction. I also made phone calls to make sure that I got it right. I even asked a Jesuit brother to drive for me, while I made sure that we were on the right track. Having someone with me made the journey feel safer.
There were several spots where the road trickily splits into several directions. We had clear information, but we still had to decide which one to take. It reminds me of my journey of conversion. Because God trusts me, God leaves to me the decision on what direction to take. The possibility of making a wrong turn is still there. But we simply couldn’t think too long. The cars behind would honk angrily!
Conversion is a challenge. It’s a long drive to the unknown places. It requires true masculine spirit. So I wonder, why there are not so many men attracted to this challenge.
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