Take a Number

“Take a Number”

Lent 2010 – Day 8; Thursday, February 25.

Deshi Ramadhani, SJ


Remember the last time you were in a line? Take a number and wait for your turn. Soon you begin to count every second. Still ten numbers before you. Then you give up, trash the number slip, and walk away. You don’t realize that all the ten persons before you did just the same earlier. So you miss your chance to be the very next person to be served.

Many times that has been my attitude in prayer. Waiting for God to answer my prayer really takes a courage and generosity. So I need to learn to simply enjoy the waiting. The answer will come in an unexpected time, even in a surprising way. Indeed, many times it is the waiting itself that really count and transform me.

If I see the waiting as part of God’s answer, when God does finally answer my prayer, I can really celebrate it. To do this, I need to stop from counting every second.

Scary U-Turn

“Scary U-Turn”

Lent 2010 – Day 1 (Ash Wednesday); February 17.

Deshi Ramadhani, SJ


I hate making a U-Turn at certain spots in my neighborhood. Why? It always feels like fighting a battle. Rarely will the vehicles from the opposite direction stop or slow down. On the contrary, they seem to speed up nastily when they see I need to get in. Things can get worse during the rush hour. If I can avoid making U-Turn, I will certainly opt for it.

Here I am, another year, another Ash Wednesday, another Lent. If conversion is like going back by making a U-Turn, I know why it is sometimes hard. It requires patience and the right moves. Making an abrupt and reckless U-Turn can cause a collision. Yet, making a very slow move can also cause a collision. I guess that’s my prayer: “God, grant me patience and teach me the right moves during this time of conversion.”

If conversion is indeed a battle, it is no doubt a battle worth fighting for. Hesitation to go through it will only reveal my true self as a coward.