The Story of Our Life Belt

This is the homily I delivered at the Expatriate Community Mass at St. Theresia Church this afternoon.

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"The Story of Our Life Belt"
Deshi Ramadhani, SJ
Expatriate Community, Holy Thursday Mass, April 1, 2010

I bought a leather belt more than ten years ago when I was still a student. This is how it looks now: a bit deformed, but still good. I believe that each belt has recorded in itself our life story. As you can see, out of five holes, three have been used. One was used when I was ten kilograms heavier than I am now. The other was when I was for a very short period ten kilograms less than I am now. And the middle hole is for how I am now. In other words, along the way, I had to decide which hole would fit best for me, not too loose, not too tight, but just right.

The first reading and the Gospel today speak about some sort of belt. In the first reading, we have that image of the Israelites getting ready for the flight from Egypt. The promise of freedom is right there before their eyes, soon to be fulfilled. “This is how you are to eat it: with your loins girt, sandals on your feet and your staff in hand, you shall eat like those who are in flight.” In our modern language, “with your loins girt” means “with your belt rightly buckled around your waist, not too loose, not too tight, but just right.

Belt, or girded waist, speaks loudly about readiness. So here is the pun: you are ready for the flight only when your waist is tied. Time is so limited. You will loose it if you still need to look for your belt, to take it, to put it around your waist, and to tie it rightly. Freedom should come from being tied. Running away from the slavery in Egypt does not mean that they will never be tied any more at all. True freedom requires a certain amount of being tied.

What about Jesus? “He rose from supper and took off his outer garments. He took a towel and tied it around his waist.” Jesus ties himself with the towel around his waist as if it were a belt. So, again, belt speaks loudly about readiness. Jesus, who is completely free, lets himself to be tied. He wants to show us, that true freedom should be celebrated from our being tied. The challenge is just the same. One needs to do it right: not too loose, not too tight, but just right.

Yes, belt speaks loudly about readiness. But there is something more with Jesus. He uses towel. He wants not only to wash his disciples’ feet, but also to dry them well. If he lets the disciples go with wet feet, soon they will attract more dirt. The washing does not have sense without the wiping. Jesus’ belt, made of towel, speaks loudly not only about his readiness to serve, but also his readiness to serve fully and responsibly.

As it is with belt, so it is with the challenge in our life. I believe that many of us are inspired to serve, to love, to give good examples, and to maintain any other good values. Problem is, we are kind of juggling between “being tied too loosely” and “being tied too tightly.” Some of us may think that the real freedom in serving others is when we can do whatever we want, in whatever way we like, and anytime we want. These people are breaking rules and accepted norms in order to serve. Some of us have our belt too tight, and hence we believe that the only way to serve others is too impose rigid rules and disciplines, to play with dos and donts.

Let us look then to our imaginary life belt. What stories have been recorded there? Which holes have we been using? Are we walking with difficulty as Jesus’ disciples, simply because we either let our life belt too loose, or we make it too tight? Today, we are invited to rewrite our story recorded in our life belt. If we can ask Saint Paul about what story to write, the answer is obvious. We heard it in our second reading. “As often as you eat this bread and drink the cup, you proclaim the death of the Lord until he comes.” Our story is none other than the death of Jesus. The challenges in our lives to find the right hole in our life belt are like wide doors open to us to touch again that death of Jesus.

The good news for us is clear. Either our life belt is too loose, or too tight, or just right, we can always return to the Eucharist to relearn about our life story, to rewrite it, to find the right hole, or simply to be amazed by how God can indeed write a better story of our life belt. And I do hope that from now on, every time you buckle your belt each morning, you can hear again that invitation to be ready for the true freedom, to serve, and to do it fully and responsibly. God, help us! Amen.

Two Birthdays

“Two Birthdays”
Lent 2009 – Day 38 (Apr 09); Holy Thursday

By Deshi Ramadhani, SJ

In Italian we say “Buon Compleanno” which literally means “Good completion of [another] year. In French we say “Bonne Anniversaire” which comes from the same linguistic root that means “year.” In German we have “Geburstag” which is actually very close to our English “Birthday.” Honestly, I prefer the expression in English or German or any other languages which clearly points out the notion of “birth” and not simply that of “[another] year.” When you see a form in English, you will be asked to fill in your DoB, Date of Birth! And so every year, we simply add up the year while maintaining the date and month of our DoB. In fact, I always think that Birthday is a day about “birth,” not about “another year.”

Every year Roman Catholics have a celebration of two birthdays. On Holy Thursday, as we gather to remember the Last Supper, we celebrate the birthdays of two sacraments: the Eucharist and the Priesthood. When Jesus said “This is My Body” and “This is My Blood” He established the Priesthood and the Eucharist. For us priests, of course, this is a very special day! It reminds us about ourselves and our ministry to preside the Eucharist.

We also reenact the washing of the feet. But, notice well, the Gospel actually tells about two important actions: Jesus washed their feet, and after that Jesus wiped their feet dry. It is a big thing to bring people to conversion, but it should not end here. To help people grow is another thing. How many of us stop with the washing of the feet and forget to wipe them dry. When you wash your feet and with wet feet you just walk away, you will end up with more dirt on your feet! Moms know this well when she reminds her kids to wash their feet before bed.

So, you actually have to pose these two questions to yourselves: “Have I let Jesus wash my feet?” and “Have I let Jesus wipe my feet dry?” Then, you also need to ask: “Have I washed others’ feet?” and “Have I wiped others’ feet dry?” Conversion and growth should go together. This is what we see every year on Holy Thursday. In other words, every year, on Holy Thursday we celebrate the birth of our “yes” to Jesus to participate in His ministry of loving, serving, giving, and forgiving.

When the Bamboo Broke

“When the Bamboo Broke”
Lent 2009 – Day 23 (Mar 23)

By Deshi Ramadhani, SJ

I warn you, this is embarrassing and disgusting! It was early 70’s and I was just a little kid. We lived in the suburbs of Jakarta. Vast rice fields and ponds were still found at the back of our house. It was customary that people would go to those ponds whenever the nature called. Yes, we had those “toilets” over the ponds. One day, as I was squatting and “doing it,” the bamboo underneath my feet broke and I fell directly to the water full of the dirty “waste” that my body had just released. I was literally in the midst of human “waste,” mine and everybody else’s. The next thing I knew, I was already at the well. My body was literally covered with human waste and our house maid was washing me through. She had bravely jumped into the disgusting water to save my life! Even today I can still hear the crispy laughter we both shared at that well. I’m forever grateful to her.

That is what God has been doing for me. Every time I sin, I spiritually jump into my own dirty waste, and God will immediately jump to save me. What a great God! This is basically the pattern that is repeated on and on throughout the Scriptures. Not only that. God even promises to create new heavens and new earth for us! Even more! God will exult in us! We are invited to share that crispy laughter as God washes us through! Think about this. God will rejoice over you, no matter how messy your life is now. God wants to heal you, and wants you to believe.

Even if there seems to be no sign that our lives are getting better (since we find ourselves repeating just the same sins again and again), God wants us to believe that we are not alone sinking in that disgusting water. God is there with us. All we need to do is letting God grab us and pull us out! Once we are out, we will also see that God mends and replaces the broken bamboo! God will smile and say, “Be careful! But be sure, even if you fall again, I’ll rescue you!”