“Wasting for Investing”
Lent 2009 – Day 16 (Mar 14)
By Deshi Ramadhani, SJ
“Waste your time, invest their trust!” This is a simple wisdom that I have made as a reminder for myself. I am blessed with so many young Jesuits around me. I am aware of my own limitation and woundedness as a human being. Yet at the same time I have been entrusted with these young and promising Jesuits under my care. This logic of “wasting for investing” at the same time also train me in the virtue of patiently waiting.
I wonder how much God has wasted time with me. I wonder how long God has been patiently waiting. I wonder how much trust God has seen developing in me. Any story of conversion is a story of how an investment begins to show the benefit. When a son who out of a sudden decides to run away from home we may think that he is completely lost. What will change the story is the amount of time that his father has wasted with him. It will take time before his son eventually realizes that he can completely trust his father. Then there will be an unstoppable power within his son to say: “I’m coming home, Dad!”
So, start with “wasting,” and you will see that you are actually “investing” something priceless, namely “trust.” In the meantime you learn how to do a good “waiting.” For God, the name for such “wasting” is “mercy,” the name for such “trust” is “conversion,” and the name for such "waiting" is "life." What a great God!
Friday, March 13, 2009
Placing the Puzzles
“Placing the Puzzles”
Lent 2009 – Day 15 (Mar 13)
By Deshi Ramadhani, SJ
I am blessed with a caring elder brother and a loving younger sister. Yes, there is no perfect family. My mom and dad must have been working hard to make the three of us so closely knitted together. That’s why I always think that one of the saddest tragedies on this planet is the enmity, hatred, jealousy between siblings. I always cry deep in my heart whenever I hear how someone has managed not to speak to his or her sibling for years!
Of course there are times when I really wish that my brother or my sister were different. I have no doubt that there are also times for them when they really wish that I were different. Conflicts exist. Misunderstandings cannot be avoided. What makes us close to each other is that somehow we see each other as puzzles that have to be there to make the picture of each one of us complete. Suppose you have orderly placed 2,999 puzzles and you can’t find that missing puzzle. What an ache you feel within.
A more tragic irony is that when Jesus came to me as my brother, as the missing puzzle I actually need, I pretend not to see Him, not to need Him.
Lent 2009 – Day 15 (Mar 13)
By Deshi Ramadhani, SJ
I am blessed with a caring elder brother and a loving younger sister. Yes, there is no perfect family. My mom and dad must have been working hard to make the three of us so closely knitted together. That’s why I always think that one of the saddest tragedies on this planet is the enmity, hatred, jealousy between siblings. I always cry deep in my heart whenever I hear how someone has managed not to speak to his or her sibling for years!
Of course there are times when I really wish that my brother or my sister were different. I have no doubt that there are also times for them when they really wish that I were different. Conflicts exist. Misunderstandings cannot be avoided. What makes us close to each other is that somehow we see each other as puzzles that have to be there to make the picture of each one of us complete. Suppose you have orderly placed 2,999 puzzles and you can’t find that missing puzzle. What an ache you feel within.
A more tragic irony is that when Jesus came to me as my brother, as the missing puzzle I actually need, I pretend not to see Him, not to need Him.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Attractive Dependency
“Attractive Dependency”
Lent 2009 – Day 14 (Mar 12)
By Deshi Ramadhani, SJ
Believe it or not, a good number of people have asked me: “So, tell me honestly Father, what kind of woman do you find attractive?” I usually ask back: “And you are asking this to a celibate Roman Catholic priest?” However, for the sake of honesty, I then continue without hesitation: “A very independent woman.” Yes, I always admire an independent woman who shows an inner power that makes the world around her turn properly.
Ask a similar question to God: “God, what kind of person do You find attractive?” God will certainly say: “Any kind.” Then try to ask further: “Don’t You find an independent person more attractive?” At this, God will smile and say: “Not really. In fact, I often find a too independent person is more difficult to deal with.”
For us modern people, being dependent is not a quality we want to strive for. Yet before God, we do need to develop “a right sense of dependency.” A tree planted near a river will be fruitful since it has the right amount of water it is dependent to; not too little, not too much, just right! The poor man Lazarus is so dependent to others, and this helps him to be dependent to God. On the contrary, the rich man is severely punished not because he is rich, but because his being rich makes him lose any sense of dependency to God.
An independent person who has a right sense of dependency to God will in fact be a much more attractive person. Your sacred, healthy, and balanced dependency to God is a quality this world is badly longing to find.
Lent 2009 – Day 14 (Mar 12)
By Deshi Ramadhani, SJ
Believe it or not, a good number of people have asked me: “So, tell me honestly Father, what kind of woman do you find attractive?” I usually ask back: “And you are asking this to a celibate Roman Catholic priest?” However, for the sake of honesty, I then continue without hesitation: “A very independent woman.” Yes, I always admire an independent woman who shows an inner power that makes the world around her turn properly.
Ask a similar question to God: “God, what kind of person do You find attractive?” God will certainly say: “Any kind.” Then try to ask further: “Don’t You find an independent person more attractive?” At this, God will smile and say: “Not really. In fact, I often find a too independent person is more difficult to deal with.”
For us modern people, being dependent is not a quality we want to strive for. Yet before God, we do need to develop “a right sense of dependency.” A tree planted near a river will be fruitful since it has the right amount of water it is dependent to; not too little, not too much, just right! The poor man Lazarus is so dependent to others, and this helps him to be dependent to God. On the contrary, the rich man is severely punished not because he is rich, but because his being rich makes him lose any sense of dependency to God.
An independent person who has a right sense of dependency to God will in fact be a much more attractive person. Your sacred, healthy, and balanced dependency to God is a quality this world is badly longing to find.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Treat Yourself
“Treat Yourself”
Lent 2009 – Day 13 (Mar 11)
By Deshi Ramadhani, SJ
We are called to be happy; we are not called to make everybody happy. The good we do will always create division: some will be happy, some will be mad at us; some will love us, and some will hate us. When we do what is really good, people will have to choose how to react to such goodness. The challenge for us: we don’t always see the end result immediately. We might feel betrayed if the immediate result is the hatred of others that make us feel really down and unhappy.
If you keep doing what is good, those who hate this goodness will eventually try to trap you by using your goodness. Some people are just too scared to do good because her or his goodness might eventually kill her or him. If you want to be happy, drink the cup of bitterness, hatred, envy, not because you are a masochist, but because this is the good thing to do. It is good simply because this is the same cup that Jesus drinks. The time will come, when you will sit with Jesus in heaven and drink the best drink. [I wonder whether in heaven they will provide the best Cabernet Sauvignon. Well…that’s my favorite wine].
We need to learn to choose to be happy by doing always and only “what is good,” not by doing always and only “what makes people happy.” Treat yourself always and only with the “true happiness,” by doing always and only “what is good.”
Lent 2009 – Day 13 (Mar 11)
By Deshi Ramadhani, SJ
We are called to be happy; we are not called to make everybody happy. The good we do will always create division: some will be happy, some will be mad at us; some will love us, and some will hate us. When we do what is really good, people will have to choose how to react to such goodness. The challenge for us: we don’t always see the end result immediately. We might feel betrayed if the immediate result is the hatred of others that make us feel really down and unhappy.
If you keep doing what is good, those who hate this goodness will eventually try to trap you by using your goodness. Some people are just too scared to do good because her or his goodness might eventually kill her or him. If you want to be happy, drink the cup of bitterness, hatred, envy, not because you are a masochist, but because this is the good thing to do. It is good simply because this is the same cup that Jesus drinks. The time will come, when you will sit with Jesus in heaven and drink the best drink. [I wonder whether in heaven they will provide the best Cabernet Sauvignon. Well…that’s my favorite wine].
We need to learn to choose to be happy by doing always and only “what is good,” not by doing always and only “what makes people happy.” Treat yourself always and only with the “true happiness,” by doing always and only “what is good.”
Monday, March 9, 2009
An Active Business
“An Active Business”
Lent 2009 – Day 12 (Mar 10)
By Deshi Ramadhani, SJ
I’m afraid that if Jesus were preaching today, He would give this warning to His disciples: “Listen to what Father Deshi says, do what he tells you, but don’t ever do what he does!” Yes, preaching is one thing, practicing what I preach is another. In fact, for me as a priest, preaching the Good News is more enjoyable than practicing it in my own life. You’d better hope that Jesus wouldn’t say this to your kids: “Listen to what your parents say, do what they tell you, but be sure, don’t do what they do”?
There is a responsible question to ask every night before falling asleep: “How much of my preaching have I myself practiced?” In my case, at times I have become too passive in my conversion. The Good News that says “though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow” always comforts me. Yet, I pretend not to look at the other side of the coin: “Stop doing evil, learn to do good…!” I want to passively get God’s love for myself, but I don’t want to actively show it to others.
Unexpected thing that happens – like when your Dad was rushed to the emergency room – may serve as a reminder: “Do what you teach…learn to do good…” Actually I’m not always aware of such soft whisper from God. Conversion is also an active business.
Lent 2009 – Day 12 (Mar 10)
By Deshi Ramadhani, SJ
I’m afraid that if Jesus were preaching today, He would give this warning to His disciples: “Listen to what Father Deshi says, do what he tells you, but don’t ever do what he does!” Yes, preaching is one thing, practicing what I preach is another. In fact, for me as a priest, preaching the Good News is more enjoyable than practicing it in my own life. You’d better hope that Jesus wouldn’t say this to your kids: “Listen to what your parents say, do what they tell you, but be sure, don’t do what they do”?
There is a responsible question to ask every night before falling asleep: “How much of my preaching have I myself practiced?” In my case, at times I have become too passive in my conversion. The Good News that says “though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow” always comforts me. Yet, I pretend not to look at the other side of the coin: “Stop doing evil, learn to do good…!” I want to passively get God’s love for myself, but I don’t want to actively show it to others.
Unexpected thing that happens – like when your Dad was rushed to the emergency room – may serve as a reminder: “Do what you teach…learn to do good…” Actually I’m not always aware of such soft whisper from God. Conversion is also an active business.
Forgiveness-Addict
“Forgiveness-Addict”
Lent 2009 – Day 11 (Mar 9)
By Deshi Ramadhani, SJ
The English word “addiction” comes from Latin “addicere,” which is a combination of “ad” (to) and “dicere” (say). Literally, it means “to say to (something),” or more precisely “to say yes to (something).” Hence, an addict is nonetheless “a devotee.” If you are addicted, you are “devoted” in the very meaning of the word. Yet, if initially “addicere” points to your freedom to say yes, today it points to your lack thereof. It means just the opposite. When you are addicted, you are dependant, chained, enslaved, not free!
Someone says that if we want to change the world, we can begin by bringing back the original meaning to every word. If this is true, I can proudly say “I am a forgiveness-addict.” It works both ways. I realize that I’m really dependant on God’s forgiveness as well as others’. I can’t live without forgiveness. The moment God or others stop to supply me with forgiveness, I certainly die. Yet, at the same time, I have to renew my choice everyday that I want to devote myself to be forgiven and to forgive.
Forgiveness is the life-giving blood of the covenant between God and me, a covenant between a faithful God and an unfaithful me. Should I measure up others or myself, that measurement is forgiveness. If I am a real forgiveness-addict, I’m on the right track to be set free.
Lent 2009 – Day 11 (Mar 9)
By Deshi Ramadhani, SJ
The English word “addiction” comes from Latin “addicere,” which is a combination of “ad” (to) and “dicere” (say). Literally, it means “to say to (something),” or more precisely “to say yes to (something).” Hence, an addict is nonetheless “a devotee.” If you are addicted, you are “devoted” in the very meaning of the word. Yet, if initially “addicere” points to your freedom to say yes, today it points to your lack thereof. It means just the opposite. When you are addicted, you are dependant, chained, enslaved, not free!
Someone says that if we want to change the world, we can begin by bringing back the original meaning to every word. If this is true, I can proudly say “I am a forgiveness-addict.” It works both ways. I realize that I’m really dependant on God’s forgiveness as well as others’. I can’t live without forgiveness. The moment God or others stop to supply me with forgiveness, I certainly die. Yet, at the same time, I have to renew my choice everyday that I want to devote myself to be forgiven and to forgive.
Forgiveness is the life-giving blood of the covenant between God and me, a covenant between a faithful God and an unfaithful me. Should I measure up others or myself, that measurement is forgiveness. If I am a real forgiveness-addict, I’m on the right track to be set free.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
A Twist in the Plot
“A Twist in the Plot”
Lent 2009 – Second Sunday Year B (Mar 8)
By Deshi Ramadhani, SJ
What is a bad movie? It’s when you can tell right from the beginning how the movie will end, and you’re right. What is a good movie? It’s when you keep guessing how the movie will end, and you only know the answer when the movie ends. What is a very good movie? It’s when you’re sure about the end, but toward the end there’s a twist in the plot, and you are totally surprised by the completely unexpected end. If life or faith life is a movie, it is indeed a very good one.
Abraham has to go through such a twist in his faith life when out of the blue God asks him to sacrifice his only and beloved son, Isaac. The disciples on the mountain are so sure about how Jesus’ life story is all about. Jesus reminds them not to be so. A lot needs to unveil. The disciples will only know Jesus on another mountain. This one is called Golgotha! Yes, if you really want to know Jesus, wait till you are shocked by the twist in the end.
Blessed Mother of Calcutta is known to have said: “If you want to make God laugh, tell God your plans!” Then after God is done with the laughter, God will tell you: “My child, wait until the twist in your life story.” Lent is a wonderful time to train our faith to be ready for any twists. Jesus is the unexpected twist in the history of the whole humanity. It is precisely this twist that makes it “a very good movie” of all ages.
Lent 2009 – Second Sunday Year B (Mar 8)
By Deshi Ramadhani, SJ
What is a bad movie? It’s when you can tell right from the beginning how the movie will end, and you’re right. What is a good movie? It’s when you keep guessing how the movie will end, and you only know the answer when the movie ends. What is a very good movie? It’s when you’re sure about the end, but toward the end there’s a twist in the plot, and you are totally surprised by the completely unexpected end. If life or faith life is a movie, it is indeed a very good one.
Abraham has to go through such a twist in his faith life when out of the blue God asks him to sacrifice his only and beloved son, Isaac. The disciples on the mountain are so sure about how Jesus’ life story is all about. Jesus reminds them not to be so. A lot needs to unveil. The disciples will only know Jesus on another mountain. This one is called Golgotha! Yes, if you really want to know Jesus, wait till you are shocked by the twist in the end.
Blessed Mother of Calcutta is known to have said: “If you want to make God laugh, tell God your plans!” Then after God is done with the laughter, God will tell you: “My child, wait until the twist in your life story.” Lent is a wonderful time to train our faith to be ready for any twists. Jesus is the unexpected twist in the history of the whole humanity. It is precisely this twist that makes it “a very good movie” of all ages.
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