Learning to Drive

“Learning to Drive”
Lent 2009 – Day 8 (Mar 5)

By Deshi Ramadhani, SJ

Remember the first day you learned to drive a car? For me, the first skill I had to learn was how to coordinate my both legs (the left leg for the clutch pedal [you don’t have this, if you drive a “matic”]; the right leg for the brake pedal and the accelerator pedal), with my both hands (the left hand for the gearshift stick; the right for the steering wheel). Well, I know, actually, there is a lot more that my legs and hands need to learn to do. However, to put it simply, for me the secret of a good driving is to know “the right move, on the right time, with the right push.” You can feel the impact in the whole car if one of these three aspects is not “right.” When you are comfortable with this, the only thing left is to determine how much push you give on the accelerator pedal (this, I admit, is where I’m very weak; those who know me always tease me: “It will take forever to get there if you drive.” Oh well, I take it as a compliment, though).

Somehow I began to think that praying or making petitions to God is like learning to drive. After all these years journeying with God, I still need to learn about “the right move, on the right time, with the right push.” There are opposite extremes taught by spiritual teachers (or by those who believe to be so). Some teach that we need to insist boldly what we want from God. If necessary, so they teach, tell God every single detail in your petition. This is not for God, since God is all-knowing, but for us, to help us realize how dependent we are to God. Others teach just the opposite. They teach that we don’t even ask for anything at all. Just trust God who already knows everything about us. The former position is criticized as being too picky towards God, or even too pretentious. The latter is criticized as being too lame toward God, or even too ignorant about our own needs. Therefore it is not always crystal clear what to say when people ask me about this. However, I’m tempted to say: “Just think about driving.”

There are times when I need to be slow, but there are also times when I need to be a bit faster. No manual can tell me exactly when I need to shift the gear. No manual can tell everything on how and when to brake. The basic principle rings true: “the right move, on the right time, with the right push.” Forgive me for using such a banal analogy for something so spiritual like making petitions to God. What I’m trying to say is simple. As in driving, each one of us needs to create a certain “bonding” with each car, so too with God. In other words, rather than finding an answer for every single case in praying, I’d rather listen to the dynamics of my own relationship with God. Either I insist “God, you must do this now!” or I trust “God, you know me, do whatever you want,” I do this because of my relationship with God. God is OK with either type of prayer.

Queen Esther has to face a big challenge, a life-threatening danger. So she insists: “Come to my help, for I am alone and have no one but you, Lord!” Jesus directs us on the same path: to ask, search, and knock. In other words, Jesus is telling me: “Deshi, whenever you need something from me, never hesitate to come to me. I will always answer!” Wow! What a guarantee! However, in case I might think that I am allowed to ask for anything whatsoever from God, and be given, Jesus gives a clear reminder. God the Father in heaven will always give what is “good.” So, I hear God telling me: “Deshi, here is the deal. Anytime you ask for what is good, search for what is good, knock for what is good, and when what you think to be good really conforms to what I think to be good, trust Me, I will always, always, always give it to you. The how or when is My business, not yours.” Either you insist, or simply not saying much, it doesn’t matter. What really matters is that conformity between you and God in terms of what is good. The “good” will determine what is “right” to do when I make petitions to God. Yes, “the right move, on the right time, with the right push.” The next time you drive, think about your prayer life. Happy praying!