“A Twist in the Plot”
Lent 2009 – Second Sunday Year B (Mar 8)
By Deshi Ramadhani, SJ
What is a bad movie? It’s when you can tell right from the beginning how the movie will end, and you’re right. What is a good movie? It’s when you keep guessing how the movie will end, and you only know the answer when the movie ends. What is a very good movie? It’s when you’re sure about the end, but toward the end there’s a twist in the plot, and you are totally surprised by the completely unexpected end. If life or faith life is a movie, it is indeed a very good one.
Abraham has to go through such a twist in his faith life when out of the blue God asks him to sacrifice his only and beloved son, Isaac. The disciples on the mountain are so sure about how Jesus’ life story is all about. Jesus reminds them not to be so. A lot needs to unveil. The disciples will only know Jesus on another mountain. This one is called Golgotha! Yes, if you really want to know Jesus, wait till you are shocked by the twist in the end.
Blessed Mother of Calcutta is known to have said: “If you want to make God laugh, tell God your plans!” Then after God is done with the laughter, God will tell you: “My child, wait until the twist in your life story.” Lent is a wonderful time to train our faith to be ready for any twists. Jesus is the unexpected twist in the history of the whole humanity. It is precisely this twist that makes it “a very good movie” of all ages.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Be a True Perfectionist!
“Be a True Perfectionist!”
Lent 2009 – Day 10 (Mar 7)
By Deshi Ramadhani, SJ
I used to be a perfectionist, even a hard-liner of the sort. As a teenager I didn’t go to sleep before making sure that everything was perfect. I would literally go around the house and check everything. Pictures on the wall, cushions on the sofas, rugs beneath tables, photo frames, and everything else, you name it (I even checked whether the Crucifix was still straightly hanging on the wall!). Thanks to my dear and only sister who always warned me, now I have become a very mild perfectionist. I mean, I’m no longer dominated by that impulse for perfection in everything, but I can determine when, where, and how I want to be perfect. (No wonder I can be comfortable now with the clutter on my desk).
Jesus says: “Be perfect as your Father in heaven!” What’s the deal with this Father? This is so obvious: this Father gives the sun and the rain for the good and the bad! For this Father, to be perfect means to embrace everyone. A true perfectionist therefore is not self-centered, but others-centered. If the Father is an all-embracing perfectionist, how is Jesus, the Son? Jesus not only asks us to love our loved ones and our enemies. The day will come when Jesus says: “This is my Body, my Blood,…for you and FOR ALL.” In other words, Jesus says: “What I give will embrace everyone.” As His Father, Jesus is an all-embracing perfectionist.
Do you want to be perfect? Do you really want to be faithful to God’s commands and ordinances? If you do, be sure, there is a school of perfection, offered to you, free of charge. That school is called “the Eucharist,” “the Holy Mass.” That is the privileged training camp for us to learn to embrace everyone, the good and the bad.
Lent 2009 – Day 10 (Mar 7)
By Deshi Ramadhani, SJ
I used to be a perfectionist, even a hard-liner of the sort. As a teenager I didn’t go to sleep before making sure that everything was perfect. I would literally go around the house and check everything. Pictures on the wall, cushions on the sofas, rugs beneath tables, photo frames, and everything else, you name it (I even checked whether the Crucifix was still straightly hanging on the wall!). Thanks to my dear and only sister who always warned me, now I have become a very mild perfectionist. I mean, I’m no longer dominated by that impulse for perfection in everything, but I can determine when, where, and how I want to be perfect. (No wonder I can be comfortable now with the clutter on my desk).
Jesus says: “Be perfect as your Father in heaven!” What’s the deal with this Father? This is so obvious: this Father gives the sun and the rain for the good and the bad! For this Father, to be perfect means to embrace everyone. A true perfectionist therefore is not self-centered, but others-centered. If the Father is an all-embracing perfectionist, how is Jesus, the Son? Jesus not only asks us to love our loved ones and our enemies. The day will come when Jesus says: “This is my Body, my Blood,…for you and FOR ALL.” In other words, Jesus says: “What I give will embrace everyone.” As His Father, Jesus is an all-embracing perfectionist.
Do you want to be perfect? Do you really want to be faithful to God’s commands and ordinances? If you do, be sure, there is a school of perfection, offered to you, free of charge. That school is called “the Eucharist,” “the Holy Mass.” That is the privileged training camp for us to learn to embrace everyone, the good and the bad.
Friday, March 6, 2009
God as Band-Aid
“God as Band-Aid”
Lent 2009 – Day 9 (Mar 6)
By Deshi Ramadhani, SJ
Who wants my conversion? Humanly speaking, I don’t. The only one who really wants my conversion is God. I’m just too comfortable with the way I have been hiding my sins. I’m fine with this and I’ve been smart enough in doing all this hiding. Sinning is serious, but hiding my sins is even more serious. Like Adam and Eve in the Garden. If the first sin is eating the fruit of knowledge about good and evil as a sin of doubting the gift from God, the second and more serious sin is hiding before God. After sin, Adam and Eve really learned how not to treat God as God the all-knowing.
Do you know “Band-Aid”? We use it when we accidentally cut ourselves. We use it to cover the cut, and wait till the cut is healed. After that, I simply peel the “Band-Aid” off and discard it. The dried blood stain on it will also be thrown away. That’s how I treat God at times, no more than just a “Band-Aid.” I use God when I need, and discard God when I’m healed. The sign of my wound symbolized by the dried blood stain will go away when I discard God on a trash, and never want to see it again. No one wants to put a used “Band-Aid” in a nice frame and hang it in his or her living room!
Convincing myself for a long time that everything is fine will drain up all my inner resources. In the process, God becomes a mere object. The good news is: for God, no matter what, I’m God’s precious child. God will just wait. How much longer do I want to make God wait?
Lent 2009 – Day 9 (Mar 6)
By Deshi Ramadhani, SJ
Who wants my conversion? Humanly speaking, I don’t. The only one who really wants my conversion is God. I’m just too comfortable with the way I have been hiding my sins. I’m fine with this and I’ve been smart enough in doing all this hiding. Sinning is serious, but hiding my sins is even more serious. Like Adam and Eve in the Garden. If the first sin is eating the fruit of knowledge about good and evil as a sin of doubting the gift from God, the second and more serious sin is hiding before God. After sin, Adam and Eve really learned how not to treat God as God the all-knowing.
Do you know “Band-Aid”? We use it when we accidentally cut ourselves. We use it to cover the cut, and wait till the cut is healed. After that, I simply peel the “Band-Aid” off and discard it. The dried blood stain on it will also be thrown away. That’s how I treat God at times, no more than just a “Band-Aid.” I use God when I need, and discard God when I’m healed. The sign of my wound symbolized by the dried blood stain will go away when I discard God on a trash, and never want to see it again. No one wants to put a used “Band-Aid” in a nice frame and hang it in his or her living room!
Convincing myself for a long time that everything is fine will drain up all my inner resources. In the process, God becomes a mere object. The good news is: for God, no matter what, I’m God’s precious child. God will just wait. How much longer do I want to make God wait?
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Learning to Drive
“Learning to Drive”
Lent 2009 – Day 8 (Mar 5)
By Deshi Ramadhani, SJ
Remember the first day you learned to drive a car? For me, the first skill I had to learn was how to coordinate my both legs (the left leg for the clutch pedal [you don’t have this, if you drive a “matic”]; the right leg for the brake pedal and the accelerator pedal), with my both hands (the left hand for the gearshift stick; the right for the steering wheel). Well, I know, actually, there is a lot more that my legs and hands need to learn to do. However, to put it simply, for me the secret of a good driving is to know “the right move, on the right time, with the right push.” You can feel the impact in the whole car if one of these three aspects is not “right.” When you are comfortable with this, the only thing left is to determine how much push you give on the accelerator pedal (this, I admit, is where I’m very weak; those who know me always tease me: “It will take forever to get there if you drive.” Oh well, I take it as a compliment, though).
Somehow I began to think that praying or making petitions to God is like learning to drive. After all these years journeying with God, I still need to learn about “the right move, on the right time, with the right push.” There are opposite extremes taught by spiritual teachers (or by those who believe to be so). Some teach that we need to insist boldly what we want from God. If necessary, so they teach, tell God every single detail in your petition. This is not for God, since God is all-knowing, but for us, to help us realize how dependent we are to God. Others teach just the opposite. They teach that we don’t even ask for anything at all. Just trust God who already knows everything about us. The former position is criticized as being too picky towards God, or even too pretentious. The latter is criticized as being too lame toward God, or even too ignorant about our own needs. Therefore it is not always crystal clear what to say when people ask me about this. However, I’m tempted to say: “Just think about driving.”
There are times when I need to be slow, but there are also times when I need to be a bit faster. No manual can tell me exactly when I need to shift the gear. No manual can tell everything on how and when to brake. The basic principle rings true: “the right move, on the right time, with the right push.” Forgive me for using such a banal analogy for something so spiritual like making petitions to God. What I’m trying to say is simple. As in driving, each one of us needs to create a certain “bonding” with each car, so too with God. In other words, rather than finding an answer for every single case in praying, I’d rather listen to the dynamics of my own relationship with God. Either I insist “God, you must do this now!” or I trust “God, you know me, do whatever you want,” I do this because of my relationship with God. God is OK with either type of prayer.
Queen Esther has to face a big challenge, a life-threatening danger. So she insists: “Come to my help, for I am alone and have no one but you, Lord!” Jesus directs us on the same path: to ask, search, and knock. In other words, Jesus is telling me: “Deshi, whenever you need something from me, never hesitate to come to me. I will always answer!” Wow! What a guarantee! However, in case I might think that I am allowed to ask for anything whatsoever from God, and be given, Jesus gives a clear reminder. God the Father in heaven will always give what is “good.” So, I hear God telling me: “Deshi, here is the deal. Anytime you ask for what is good, search for what is good, knock for what is good, and when what you think to be good really conforms to what I think to be good, trust Me, I will always, always, always give it to you. The how or when is My business, not yours.” Either you insist, or simply not saying much, it doesn’t matter. What really matters is that conformity between you and God in terms of what is good. The “good” will determine what is “right” to do when I make petitions to God. Yes, “the right move, on the right time, with the right push.” The next time you drive, think about your prayer life. Happy praying!
Lent 2009 – Day 8 (Mar 5)
By Deshi Ramadhani, SJ
Remember the first day you learned to drive a car? For me, the first skill I had to learn was how to coordinate my both legs (the left leg for the clutch pedal [you don’t have this, if you drive a “matic”]; the right leg for the brake pedal and the accelerator pedal), with my both hands (the left hand for the gearshift stick; the right for the steering wheel). Well, I know, actually, there is a lot more that my legs and hands need to learn to do. However, to put it simply, for me the secret of a good driving is to know “the right move, on the right time, with the right push.” You can feel the impact in the whole car if one of these three aspects is not “right.” When you are comfortable with this, the only thing left is to determine how much push you give on the accelerator pedal (this, I admit, is where I’m very weak; those who know me always tease me: “It will take forever to get there if you drive.” Oh well, I take it as a compliment, though).
Somehow I began to think that praying or making petitions to God is like learning to drive. After all these years journeying with God, I still need to learn about “the right move, on the right time, with the right push.” There are opposite extremes taught by spiritual teachers (or by those who believe to be so). Some teach that we need to insist boldly what we want from God. If necessary, so they teach, tell God every single detail in your petition. This is not for God, since God is all-knowing, but for us, to help us realize how dependent we are to God. Others teach just the opposite. They teach that we don’t even ask for anything at all. Just trust God who already knows everything about us. The former position is criticized as being too picky towards God, or even too pretentious. The latter is criticized as being too lame toward God, or even too ignorant about our own needs. Therefore it is not always crystal clear what to say when people ask me about this. However, I’m tempted to say: “Just think about driving.”
There are times when I need to be slow, but there are also times when I need to be a bit faster. No manual can tell me exactly when I need to shift the gear. No manual can tell everything on how and when to brake. The basic principle rings true: “the right move, on the right time, with the right push.” Forgive me for using such a banal analogy for something so spiritual like making petitions to God. What I’m trying to say is simple. As in driving, each one of us needs to create a certain “bonding” with each car, so too with God. In other words, rather than finding an answer for every single case in praying, I’d rather listen to the dynamics of my own relationship with God. Either I insist “God, you must do this now!” or I trust “God, you know me, do whatever you want,” I do this because of my relationship with God. God is OK with either type of prayer.
Queen Esther has to face a big challenge, a life-threatening danger. So she insists: “Come to my help, for I am alone and have no one but you, Lord!” Jesus directs us on the same path: to ask, search, and knock. In other words, Jesus is telling me: “Deshi, whenever you need something from me, never hesitate to come to me. I will always answer!” Wow! What a guarantee! However, in case I might think that I am allowed to ask for anything whatsoever from God, and be given, Jesus gives a clear reminder. God the Father in heaven will always give what is “good.” So, I hear God telling me: “Deshi, here is the deal. Anytime you ask for what is good, search for what is good, knock for what is good, and when what you think to be good really conforms to what I think to be good, trust Me, I will always, always, always give it to you. The how or when is My business, not yours.” Either you insist, or simply not saying much, it doesn’t matter. What really matters is that conformity between you and God in terms of what is good. The “good” will determine what is “right” to do when I make petitions to God. Yes, “the right move, on the right time, with the right push.” The next time you drive, think about your prayer life. Happy praying!
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Tiny Sign of Hope
“Tiny Sign of Hope”
Lent 2009 – Day 7 (Mar 4)
By Deshi Ramadhani, SJ
Talking about the child within? Well, let me tell you this. Beside my pillow, there are Nemo and Dory. Yes, I sleep with fish! My favorite scene in the movie "Finding Nemo" is when Marlin is in a deep crisis and wants to give up, believing that he will never find back his son Nemo. Dory, the blue fish with short-term memory problem, tries her best (you can hear the funny voice of Ellen DeGeneres here). This is my favorite line said by Dory to the frustrated Marlin: “…And-and I look at you, and I... I'm home! Please. I don't want that to go away. I don't want to forget…” Without knowing, Dory has been able to overcome her short-term memory problem simply by being with Marlin. For me this is a beautiful scene that shows how imperfect persons can go beyond the barrier in each one of them simply by sharing the slightest hope that still remains. For Dory, this tiny sign of hope is that as long as Marlin is around, she can remember certain things!
Jonah is not a perfect prophet at all. He ran away the first time he heard God’s call. The beauty in this story is that God doesn’t give up on Jonah. God tries again, and this time Jonah obeys. Not only that. That fragile prophet simply gives a warning: “Folks, only forty days left!” To his surprise, those words turn out to be powerful. All have to repent! (I can’t help thinking of those poor animals that suddenly have to fast!). Imagine the life in the city of Nineveh during those fasting days. Those days are filled with little story-telling here and there. Those days become special because they simply hold on to the tiny sign of hope that still remains. “Who knows, if we repent, God will not condemn us,” so they think. They aren’t even sure about what God would do to them. Here we see something very beautiful. Something, I believe, that God did on purpose in order to teach Jonah. Here we see how repentance becomes the only hope of life. The choice between persisting in sin and repenting from sin becomes the choice between death and life.
In the time of Jesus, people around Him seem to have lost their ability to see such tiny sign of hope. Repentance has become, so to speak, a cheap business. In the free market of life out there, the call to repentance doesn’t sell easily. In a sense, that is the situation in which we live today. How often we dream of a spectacular experience of repentance? Only “if” I hear that famous preacher, I will be touched deeply to repent. Only “if” I see a miracle in my brother’s life, I will repent. Only “if” God can really erase poverty from the face of the earth, I will repent. Only “if” there is a dramatic improvement in the stock market, I will certainly repent. The list can go on and on. Just think about the many “ifs” in your life. Or, simply think of all the “ifs” you have told yourself during these first days of Lent. You don’t need any more signs. The very fact that you are alive is a sign from God that you are still granted enough time to repent. It is the tiny sign of hope to which you should cling: repent!
Lent 2009 – Day 7 (Mar 4)
By Deshi Ramadhani, SJ
Talking about the child within? Well, let me tell you this. Beside my pillow, there are Nemo and Dory. Yes, I sleep with fish! My favorite scene in the movie "Finding Nemo" is when Marlin is in a deep crisis and wants to give up, believing that he will never find back his son Nemo. Dory, the blue fish with short-term memory problem, tries her best (you can hear the funny voice of Ellen DeGeneres here). This is my favorite line said by Dory to the frustrated Marlin: “…And-and I look at you, and I... I'm home! Please. I don't want that to go away. I don't want to forget…” Without knowing, Dory has been able to overcome her short-term memory problem simply by being with Marlin. For me this is a beautiful scene that shows how imperfect persons can go beyond the barrier in each one of them simply by sharing the slightest hope that still remains. For Dory, this tiny sign of hope is that as long as Marlin is around, she can remember certain things!
Jonah is not a perfect prophet at all. He ran away the first time he heard God’s call. The beauty in this story is that God doesn’t give up on Jonah. God tries again, and this time Jonah obeys. Not only that. That fragile prophet simply gives a warning: “Folks, only forty days left!” To his surprise, those words turn out to be powerful. All have to repent! (I can’t help thinking of those poor animals that suddenly have to fast!). Imagine the life in the city of Nineveh during those fasting days. Those days are filled with little story-telling here and there. Those days become special because they simply hold on to the tiny sign of hope that still remains. “Who knows, if we repent, God will not condemn us,” so they think. They aren’t even sure about what God would do to them. Here we see something very beautiful. Something, I believe, that God did on purpose in order to teach Jonah. Here we see how repentance becomes the only hope of life. The choice between persisting in sin and repenting from sin becomes the choice between death and life.
In the time of Jesus, people around Him seem to have lost their ability to see such tiny sign of hope. Repentance has become, so to speak, a cheap business. In the free market of life out there, the call to repentance doesn’t sell easily. In a sense, that is the situation in which we live today. How often we dream of a spectacular experience of repentance? Only “if” I hear that famous preacher, I will be touched deeply to repent. Only “if” I see a miracle in my brother’s life, I will repent. Only “if” God can really erase poverty from the face of the earth, I will repent. Only “if” there is a dramatic improvement in the stock market, I will certainly repent. The list can go on and on. Just think about the many “ifs” in your life. Or, simply think of all the “ifs” you have told yourself during these first days of Lent. You don’t need any more signs. The very fact that you are alive is a sign from God that you are still granted enough time to repent. It is the tiny sign of hope to which you should cling: repent!
A Big YES
“A Big YES”
Lent 2009 – Day 6 (Mar 3)
By Deshi Ramadhani, SJ
One of my favorite photos of my childhood is the one showing my Dad and me. I had just accidentally bumped my head on a wall (you know, reckless kid). It hurt and I wept loudly. My Dad immediately ran to me, embraced me tightly, lifted me, and held me close to his chest. I was actually big enough to receive that unexpectedly special care. The photo tells a lot. I was weeping and shyly looked at the camera (please don’t laugh if you look at my forehead in that photo), while my Dad was smiling, looking at me, and pointing his finger to the camera. Every time I look at it, I can hear all kinds of encouraging words: It’s OK. Don’t worry. Take courage… Now in my forties, I believe that what my Dad did was simply showing his trust in me. He showed me that within my body as a boy, he already saw a man who can cope with any challenges in life.
God has trust in me. Through Isaiah, we hear that any words coming from God’s mouth will never fail to do God’s will. It’s so amazing. What a trust! First, there is trust in the power of God’s own words, but secondly, there is also trust in our human ability to receive those very words. Knowing how fragile we are, humanly speaking, God should never have any trusts whatsoever in us. That’s not the case with God I believe in. God trusts me, because God sees me as a good person, even if right now my life is in such a mess. Whenever I bumped my head on a wall because of my recklessness in life, God will just smile and invite me to look ahead. Yes, there is hope for me, because God has trust in me.
Jesus challenges his disciples. Many people believe that they should add more and more words in their prayers in order to make God hear. This is so humiliating for God. After all, God is the all-knowing. We sometimes do this because we don’t trust God. We have a serious doubt about God’s sincerity in loving us. To counter this we are taught not only to let God do whatever God wants. We pray “your will be done, on earth as in heaven.” By saying this, we beg that heaven and earth shall meet. What a bold prayer. To put it simply, I pray that God’s trust will embrace my distrust. So whenever I ask myself “Will I ever become a better person?” the answer is a big YES. And guess what? That big YES comes faster from God’s mouth than from ours. This is indeed good news for you and me.
Lent 2009 – Day 6 (Mar 3)
By Deshi Ramadhani, SJ
One of my favorite photos of my childhood is the one showing my Dad and me. I had just accidentally bumped my head on a wall (you know, reckless kid). It hurt and I wept loudly. My Dad immediately ran to me, embraced me tightly, lifted me, and held me close to his chest. I was actually big enough to receive that unexpectedly special care. The photo tells a lot. I was weeping and shyly looked at the camera (please don’t laugh if you look at my forehead in that photo), while my Dad was smiling, looking at me, and pointing his finger to the camera. Every time I look at it, I can hear all kinds of encouraging words: It’s OK. Don’t worry. Take courage… Now in my forties, I believe that what my Dad did was simply showing his trust in me. He showed me that within my body as a boy, he already saw a man who can cope with any challenges in life.
God has trust in me. Through Isaiah, we hear that any words coming from God’s mouth will never fail to do God’s will. It’s so amazing. What a trust! First, there is trust in the power of God’s own words, but secondly, there is also trust in our human ability to receive those very words. Knowing how fragile we are, humanly speaking, God should never have any trusts whatsoever in us. That’s not the case with God I believe in. God trusts me, because God sees me as a good person, even if right now my life is in such a mess. Whenever I bumped my head on a wall because of my recklessness in life, God will just smile and invite me to look ahead. Yes, there is hope for me, because God has trust in me.
Jesus challenges his disciples. Many people believe that they should add more and more words in their prayers in order to make God hear. This is so humiliating for God. After all, God is the all-knowing. We sometimes do this because we don’t trust God. We have a serious doubt about God’s sincerity in loving us. To counter this we are taught not only to let God do whatever God wants. We pray “your will be done, on earth as in heaven.” By saying this, we beg that heaven and earth shall meet. What a bold prayer. To put it simply, I pray that God’s trust will embrace my distrust. So whenever I ask myself “Will I ever become a better person?” the answer is a big YES. And guess what? That big YES comes faster from God’s mouth than from ours. This is indeed good news for you and me.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Fighting Negligence
"Fighting Negligence"
Lent 2009 – Day 5 (Mar 2)
By Deshi Ramadhani, SJ
A very dear person whom I always cherish affectionately in my heart gave me a new rosary. But, there is more. She also gave me a small pocket to keep the rosary, and with her own hands she made on it simple embroidery of my initials T A D R. I was touched by her sincere care and love. From then on, the rosary inside the pocket has almost become inseparable “attire” together with my glasses, watch, wallet, keys, and handkerchief wherever I go. (Well, I should honestly confess, that the list should also include my two mobile phones!). I thought that I would keep it for the rest of my life, but I was wrong. On a road trip I lost the pocket.
I lost a very precious gift from a very precious person who had stamped her presence, care, and love on it. I know she was hurt, and I still feel an aching shame about it. However, she gave me right away a new pocket for my rosary. This time there is no embroidery, but knowing my tendency toward negligence, she had sewn a button to make it easier for me to keep the pocket safely closed. That experience taught me a great deal about the harmful effect of negligence.
Negligence, or omission, is not less serious than action. So we say at the beginning of Mass: “…in what I have done, and in what I have failed to do…” The final judgment in Matthew speaks precisely about negligence: “…in so far as you neglected to do this to one of the least of these, you neglected to do it to me…” If I can clearly tell how much pain I have inflicted on the person I love by my negligence, so much more is the pain we can inflict on Jesus by our negligence. Sin is not only about “the bad we commit,” but also “the good we omit.” In other words, if I know that I have to do what is good and necessary, but I don’t do it, I sin before God. I knew, and I wanted to keep the pocket, but when I fell asleep, I neglected what I should have done with the precious pocket. People in the Gospel know and want to do good to Jesus, but they neglect because they do not recognize Jesus in the poor and the outcast whom they meet daily.
If you are a mother and you know that you have to give your daughter a medicine, but due to a long conversation on the phone with your pal you forget to do it, you sin! If as a priest I know that I have to prepare my Sunday homily, but because I was absorbed in my favorite TV show and forget to do it, I definitely sin! A long phone conversation or watching your favorite movie in itself is not necessarily a sin. Your negligence to do what is good (here, to give medicine to your sick daughter or to prepare a Sunday homily) is certainly a sin. And on, and on, and on…you can name your own negligence.
There is more. When we neglect to do what is good, we neglect to do it to Jesus. My negligence hurts Him who has stamped her presences, care, and love in other persons we meet, no matter how their appearance is. In this case, negligence is a negligence to love. My lost rosary pocket, your sick daughter, your desk where you prepare your Sunday homily, and many simple things and persons around us, if we are attentive enough, cry aloud to remind us of our call to love. The conversion in this area is possible. It is offered right into your heart by Jesus during this Lent.
For any hurts and wounds caused by my negligence, I beg your forgiveness, and I pray God to do the healing.
Lent 2009 – Day 5 (Mar 2)
By Deshi Ramadhani, SJ
A very dear person whom I always cherish affectionately in my heart gave me a new rosary. But, there is more. She also gave me a small pocket to keep the rosary, and with her own hands she made on it simple embroidery of my initials T A D R. I was touched by her sincere care and love. From then on, the rosary inside the pocket has almost become inseparable “attire” together with my glasses, watch, wallet, keys, and handkerchief wherever I go. (Well, I should honestly confess, that the list should also include my two mobile phones!). I thought that I would keep it for the rest of my life, but I was wrong. On a road trip I lost the pocket.
I lost a very precious gift from a very precious person who had stamped her presence, care, and love on it. I know she was hurt, and I still feel an aching shame about it. However, she gave me right away a new pocket for my rosary. This time there is no embroidery, but knowing my tendency toward negligence, she had sewn a button to make it easier for me to keep the pocket safely closed. That experience taught me a great deal about the harmful effect of negligence.
Negligence, or omission, is not less serious than action. So we say at the beginning of Mass: “…in what I have done, and in what I have failed to do…” The final judgment in Matthew speaks precisely about negligence: “…in so far as you neglected to do this to one of the least of these, you neglected to do it to me…” If I can clearly tell how much pain I have inflicted on the person I love by my negligence, so much more is the pain we can inflict on Jesus by our negligence. Sin is not only about “the bad we commit,” but also “the good we omit.” In other words, if I know that I have to do what is good and necessary, but I don’t do it, I sin before God. I knew, and I wanted to keep the pocket, but when I fell asleep, I neglected what I should have done with the precious pocket. People in the Gospel know and want to do good to Jesus, but they neglect because they do not recognize Jesus in the poor and the outcast whom they meet daily.
If you are a mother and you know that you have to give your daughter a medicine, but due to a long conversation on the phone with your pal you forget to do it, you sin! If as a priest I know that I have to prepare my Sunday homily, but because I was absorbed in my favorite TV show and forget to do it, I definitely sin! A long phone conversation or watching your favorite movie in itself is not necessarily a sin. Your negligence to do what is good (here, to give medicine to your sick daughter or to prepare a Sunday homily) is certainly a sin. And on, and on, and on…you can name your own negligence.
There is more. When we neglect to do what is good, we neglect to do it to Jesus. My negligence hurts Him who has stamped her presences, care, and love in other persons we meet, no matter how their appearance is. In this case, negligence is a negligence to love. My lost rosary pocket, your sick daughter, your desk where you prepare your Sunday homily, and many simple things and persons around us, if we are attentive enough, cry aloud to remind us of our call to love. The conversion in this area is possible. It is offered right into your heart by Jesus during this Lent.
For any hurts and wounds caused by my negligence, I beg your forgiveness, and I pray God to do the healing.
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